Ok Already!

Hello Gang,

I finally closed on my old house on Friday and it feels great to be a one home owner again. And to have only one set of utility bills, phew. The house sold to a lovely single young lady and I am glad every crazy thing about that house got fixed for her so she can live happily there. She loves the flowers that are blooming currently. 

And now, well, I am really in the groove of solitude and loving every minute. Peace and quiet. Yaaaaay!

I don't have plans but occasionally daydream about travel but immediately talk myself out of it. I have traveled a lot in my career and it is even worse at airports now, so nevermind. I might visit my brother in Missouri but again he is always traveling for work, so that might be delayed indefinitely. 

In the meantime I decided I could lose some weight and have been eliminating things and already I can tell the difference. I hate diet talk but being on this diet means less kitchen clean up so that is another plus. NO I won't be exercising. 

The library is close and I have six books to read on my deck sanctuary, mostly mysteries of course but not so many noir as I had been wallowing in. 

There are stirrings of going through my collected yarn, fabric and art supplies and winnowing out the excess, but I don't feel quite motivated enough to actually start. 

I do get out a bit more now, and enjoyed my niece's 31st birthday party last week at my sister's, and of course I see friends at church, but still I am not accepting invitations and everyone knows it who has asked. Just for now. 

Working it out

It is possible to do nothing for days and the world does not implode.

 Being super busy translated for me into avoiding real life. 

Being alone with my thoughts did not make me lonely. 

Thinking sometimes happens at 3am, and solutions may or may not appear.

My future does not have to be decided right this minute.

I learned how to say no without apologizing, or offering excuses. I just said, I am not accepting invitations at this time,  I'll let you know when I am ready to be social again.

Nobody was upset by this.

Reading on my chaise lounge on my deck is better than a week at a spa, and requires no packing.

Recognizing and being thankful for where I am, and what I have, and how healthy I am becoming, and how much better I am sleeping and eating, and not worrying, but praying more regularly, is how I have spent my time.

Not sewing, not painting, not knitting, not cooking, and not even washing dishes for days, is just OK.

This sounds like a list of negatives, and yet it is like turning the corner to the right street after having been on an entirely different journey for years.

 I have entertained myself with a novel a day and that is a lot of sitting, but surprisingly, my feet don't hurt and my back doesn't hurt and I don't get hungry and my legs, hands and toes are getting tan. 

I can tell I am coming back to life because I bought a new Dirt Devil vac and cleaned up all the lingering dust puppies under my bed.

My hair grew into a bush so I went and got a haircut yesterday, and this morning I (laughingly) put on mascara by using the magnifying mirror, but my upper lids are so droopy that they hid the lashes anyway. O well.

I have no plans, no deadlines, no expectations, and I am going to try keeping it that way for a long time.