Being super busy translated for me into avoiding real life.
Being alone with my thoughts did not make me lonely.
Thinking sometimes happens at 3am, and solutions may or may not appear.
My future does not have to be decided right this minute.
I learned how to say no without apologizing, or offering excuses. I just said, I am not accepting invitations at this time, I'll let you know when I am ready to be social again.
Nobody was upset by this.
Reading on my chaise lounge on my deck is better than a week at a spa, and requires no packing.
Recognizing and being thankful for where I am, and what I have, and how healthy I am becoming, and how much better I am sleeping and eating, and not worrying, but praying more regularly, is how I have spent my time.
Not sewing, not painting, not knitting, not cooking, and not even washing dishes for days, is just OK.
This sounds like a list of negatives, and yet it is like turning the corner to the right street after having been on an entirely different journey for years.
I have entertained myself with a novel a day and that is a lot of sitting, but surprisingly, my feet don't hurt and my back doesn't hurt and I don't get hungry and my legs, hands and toes are getting tan.
I can tell I am coming back to life because I bought a new Dirt Devil vac and cleaned up all the lingering dust puppies under my bed.
My hair grew into a bush so I went and got a haircut yesterday, and this morning I (laughingly) put on mascara by using the magnifying mirror, but my upper lids are so droopy that they hid the lashes anyway. O well.
I have no plans, no deadlines, no expectations, and I am going to try keeping it that way for a long time.
