This just in...

Not that I needed a name for it, but what I have been experiencing is called

Emotional exhaustion

Duh. Of course. 

This isn't mourning, and it isn't sadness, it is stress fatigue. 

Healing takes time. Peace and quiet and days, weeks or months without stress is necessary and is not something to feel guilty about. 

Well, I'm glad I found a name for it and that helps me see why I suddenly hit a wall and just couldn't go on anymore being who I had been.  And forgiving who I became when I ran out of the ability to be patient and sympathetic with a mentally and physically ill husband and a flooded house and the financial stress of repairs and the feeling that I had gotten us into this situation by not trusting my gut when I should have...but I was out of touch with that self because of the aforementioned emotional exhaustion.

All that is all over now.  I can breathe. I can sleep. I can thank God.  I can let the dust settle and be repaired.

It has been raining consistently over the last week and that is just my favorite thing. The garden is loving it too. No drought after all. Hurray!

Ok Already!

Hello Gang,

I finally closed on my old house on Friday and it feels great to be a one home owner again. And to have only one set of utility bills, phew. The house sold to a lovely single young lady and I am glad every crazy thing about that house got fixed for her so she can live happily there. She loves the flowers that are blooming currently. 

And now, well, I am really in the groove of solitude and loving every minute. Peace and quiet. Yaaaaay!

I don't have plans but occasionally daydream about travel but immediately talk myself out of it. I have traveled a lot in my career and it is even worse at airports now, so nevermind. I might visit my brother in Missouri but again he is always traveling for work, so that might be delayed indefinitely. 

In the meantime I decided I could lose some weight and have been eliminating things and already I can tell the difference. I hate diet talk but being on this diet means less kitchen clean up so that is another plus. NO I won't be exercising. 

The library is close and I have six books to read on my deck sanctuary, mostly mysteries of course but not so many noir as I had been wallowing in. 

There are stirrings of going through my collected yarn, fabric and art supplies and winnowing out the excess, but I don't feel quite motivated enough to actually start. 

I do get out a bit more now, and enjoyed my niece's 31st birthday party last week at my sister's, and of course I see friends at church, but still I am not accepting invitations and everyone knows it who has asked. Just for now. 

Working it out

It is possible to do nothing for days and the world does not implode.

 Being super busy translated for me into avoiding real life. 

Being alone with my thoughts did not make me lonely. 

Thinking sometimes happens at 3am, and solutions may or may not appear.

My future does not have to be decided right this minute.

I learned how to say no without apologizing, or offering excuses. I just said, I am not accepting invitations at this time,  I'll let you know when I am ready to be social again.

Nobody was upset by this.

Reading on my chaise lounge on my deck is better than a week at a spa, and requires no packing.

Recognizing and being thankful for where I am, and what I have, and how healthy I am becoming, and how much better I am sleeping and eating, and not worrying, but praying more regularly, is how I have spent my time.

Not sewing, not painting, not knitting, not cooking, and not even washing dishes for days, is just OK.

This sounds like a list of negatives, and yet it is like turning the corner to the right street after having been on an entirely different journey for years.

 I have entertained myself with a novel a day and that is a lot of sitting, but surprisingly, my feet don't hurt and my back doesn't hurt and I don't get hungry and my legs, hands and toes are getting tan. 

I can tell I am coming back to life because I bought a new Dirt Devil vac and cleaned up all the lingering dust puppies under my bed.

My hair grew into a bush so I went and got a haircut yesterday, and this morning I (laughingly) put on mascara by using the magnifying mirror, but my upper lids are so droopy that they hid the lashes anyway. O well.

I have no plans, no deadlines, no expectations, and I am going to try keeping it that way for a long time.

Now What?

Now that the garden is in, what is next? This may surprise you, but I am going to try doing nothing for a while. 

I'm going to slow down and reflect. Without getting into the gory details, getting the previous house ready to sell has been awful, and expensive and the underlying stress has convinced me to choose peace and quiet as my 'next project'. 

The weather has been lovely and I have set up my chaise on the deck with a little side table for a beverage, and several good mysteries from the library. Reading is relaxing and it encourages napping too, which is also good for the little gray cells. Speaking of sleep, when Dave was still with me, I slept with one eye open to hear him during the night and that became a habit I needed to break. I tried a prescription from the doctor and that was worse as it made me so thirsty that I had to get up several times during the night, thus negating the new sleep pattern. But recently I remembered a drug I was on years ago, which was a mood leveler and asked for that and yes, it has been great. I now have had more than 8 hours of sleep at night and the catnaps every now and then continue.

I was sewing for a week or two and that was fun, but...get this...I ran out of clothes hangers, so I really ought to access my wardrobe and decide if or what I actually need to add, if anything, or donate. 

I have space to make art but no real desire at the moment, which is partially due to my sister Brooke's new artwork, which is wonderful and I want to share it with you.

I am so thrilled at her creations and to think this is all so recent. We started painting watercolors together in late 2021, as a way of teaching ourselves and she really took off. These new pieces are a mix of materials and she has maintained a work schedule which is amazing. I would say that she is taking her work seriously and doing all the necessary things to get it out there, like posting videos on Instagram, writing a blog, and making her own art site. 

Now what makes me say that because Brooke is making art, I don't feel the need to join in? I guess I feel like stepping back and enjoying her time in the spotlight. It feels right. 

The Garden is in

What makes a good garden?

MONEY.

At least that's how it felt this year. But my other house is finally under contract and in a month when we close, I will be back to normal, without having to watch my pennies so carefully.

Most of the garden perennials I purchased were bare root, and they all took, including the little extra root bits that came in the packages. I have those in the 'nursery blocks' in the front with the impatiens. And since I still have access to my previous garden, I lifted a bunch of hosta and heuchera and brought them to the new garden site.

Of course I did have to make my annual pilgrimage to my fave nursery for a few special specimens, but I was frugal and limited myself to one new hosta and two new heuchera, (Caramel and Dressed Up Ball Gown) and their very nice flats of begonia, coleus and impatiens. 

This planting season I really felt my age, not being able to get on my bad knee, or lifting things as I done in the past. So I am being more realistic about what kind of garden I am able to maintain. As this bed matures, there will be less space for annuals and the cubbies in the blocks will have to suffice for flowers. I am not complaining. I think it is going to be wonderful anyway.

But wait, there's more!

 The pots in the front got filled too. I wanted something tall to put in the back and found these large hosta, at a decent price at Walmart. I know from experience and the internet that they will thrive in pots and will become the foundation for the future. I lucked out with that established Sweet Autumn clematis on the trellis, which is practically a weed everywhere in Tennessee and I found this Eclipse Hydrangea at Lowe's for half price. It will get to 3' by 5', so it will get moved into the yard in a couple of years. In the front of these pots I am trying a new trailer, Licorice Plant.

 The other side of the porch has the same plantings, and yesterday I added some Creeping Jenny to the pots which I lifted from the previous house, where it went nuts. I left quite a lot there. Yes, I still have a nice garden going there currently and I am sure it added to the deal.  I will remove those sticky labels on the pots. I just ran out of energy and daylight.

My brother in law John, who has been my right hand man and the solution to all my fixes, has also been the responsible partner in getting this design accomplished. I was hoping to have a flower bed in the actual yard, but reality hit and I changed my mind. It turns out that the barrel planters could do the trick and so I had John move them from the deck where they were being a little too shaded, to this sunnier spot. They contain Stella D'oro daylilies, Crazy Daisies, Yellow Coneflowers and Blue Bedder Salvia. This year I added four bleeding hearts, some Stargazer lilies, and more purple oxalis. The birdbath came along from the old house and I hope to add another bird feeder somewhere in this space. 

I heard that we will be having a drought this year, wouldn't you know it. So my four dogwood and the one Japanese maple (not pictured) are not going to be planted until the fall. I will keep them alive in pots and late yesterday I brought them up to the new barrel bed, where I could maintain their watering needs. 

So that's it. I am done, and earlier than ever this year. I have a few caladium left to find a home, but they have just sprouted, so who knows if I will even keep them, as my sister loves them and I have no more room. 

I have window boxes on my deck railing, and while I had a lovely crop of fancy lettuces, a squirrel had them for lunch, so never mind.  The purple oxalis (from the old house) is doing great and I actually have them in several other spots growing happily. They reseed so easily, are super hardy and drought tolerant, making them a real favorite for me. 

I'm looking forward to a lot of sitting and admiring, in between watering eveything. But I know that the view will be glorious. 

Garden Bed

The day I have anticipated since I moved to this house, has finally arrived! Hurray! Bags and bags of garden soil, mulch and concrete blocks have been delivered and my famous brother in law John is here to do the heavy lifting. 

 All this will soon disappear and be transformed into my shade garden.

 A few hours later and here it is! John is putting the finishing touches on the corner brick. He is very clever and wants it to be 'just so'. I am way appreciative. These blocks are larger than standard with a much bigger opening, making them great for individual plantings. Two layers high give the bed a possible depth of 16 inches, although we really won't be filling it completely, it is possible some of the perennials I plan to put here will root deeply. 

The rough dimensions are 8 inches high, 12 inches wide and sixteen inches long. I've used these before in several gardens and they work beautifully. We got them from Lowe's. John also used rebar to stabilize the perimeter, and I don't anticipate much settling since the base underneath is clay and gravel. The first layer to go in was mulch, which works l as a leveling agent for the blocks and helps with drainage.  The fill for the bed was Stay Green garden soil which is currently on sale, as is the mulch. 80 1 cu. bags of soil and 16 2 cu bags of mulch which is also to be used in the front yard.

There is a vent to the crawl space which needed to be open to the air, so John constructed this separator. What a guy! He also configured a hidden solution for the gutter drain pipe. I am so blessed to have this engineer construct my garden. But I must say that is was so difficult not to do this all myself, but my old legs just can't anymore, so I stayed indoors and tried to keep busy.  

 And here it is all filled and ready to water in and then plant. Just as I imagined, the soil reaches the base of the deck and covers all the unsightly stuff like the concrete and clay underneath the deck floor. 

I am thrilled! It has been ages since I had a shade garden which is one of my fave things, plant wise.  Lots of specimen hostas, heucheras and caladiums will form the structure and I have also pre-rooted nasturtiums seeds which have sprouted and will go in some of the block openings. Begonias, astilbe, tiarellas,  celandine poppys,  elephant ears, and maybe hydrangea, are on my shopping list... oooooooh!

 The grass has grown like crazy and we just had a full day of rain this past week, so the once miserably junked up yard is a thing of the past. 

A little pocket tutorial

 I've used this side seam pocket on a lot of my clothes in the past and everytime I do I have to rethink how I did it before. Well, this post will be my reference in the future.

Step 1. Cut the curve for the pocket about 7 inches below the armscye. This time I made a little template to keep the shape the same on both sides.

Step 2. I used a pocket pattern from some previous pattern and it works for everything so I keep it pinned to my design wall. It's about 9-10 inches long on the straight side and about 6" wide on the curve. Cut two, one for each side, and serge the curved edge.

 Step 3. Make some bias strips, 1 3/4 inches wide. I  used cotton duck for this dress and since it is a bit heavier I thought I would 'face' the pocket with the bias as a single layer instead of doubled as the white bias is above. (That bias is for the neckline and armholes)

 Step 4. Sew the bias on the front side of the pocket opening, using a 1/4" seam. 

 Step 5. Fold over the seam allowance, press and stitch from the wrong side about 1/2 inch from the edge.

This is how it looks on the front. Trim the excess even with the side edge of the dress.

 Step 6. Place the single layer pocket over the curved pocket opening. lining it up with the side seams. Pin in place and stitch from the wrong side around the curved edge. 

 Voila! it is done. The raw edge of the pocket will be the serged into the side seam.  

Here is the finished side seam, with the scissors inserted to show the finished pocket. I prefer this style of pocket, because it lies flat, no protruding bulge, is fast to do and easy, if you can remember how to do it. With lighter weight fabrics I would double the binding and sew it to the wrong side of the fabric, fold it over and topstitch it from the front . 

Here's the pattern I kinda used. I eliminated the sleeves, added a bust dart at the arm opening, lowered the neckline, lengthened it quite a bit, added side seam pockets and devised the underbust seam because I was using two leftover fabrics. In the final dress,/jumper/pinafore, I added a casing in the back for narrow elastic. 

 

Two more examples of the side seam pockets. On the left is another iteration of the same devised pattern, only this one has a pleat down the front and back. 

And the pants...can't find the original pattern, but of course it got adjusted a zillion times, so nevermind.